Caught somewhere between the truth and a lie

Caught somewhere between the truth and a lie.

What does a leader do when he has struggles in his life?

What does he do when he has hidden sin?

Who can he trust?

Who can he tell?

What if no one wants to listen?

What if no one wants to let him off of the pedestal that they have put him on?

How do heroes fall gracefully?

What do you do after you’ve lived your whole Christian life trying to be what everyone thought you were or wanted you to be only to lose yourself in their imaginations?

What do you do when you no longer know who you are?

What do you do when you realize that you are not who everyone thinks you are?

How do you let everyone down?

How do you tell them?

Do you tell them?

How do you deal with people’s anger at you for not being who they wanted you to be?

What do you do when you realize that you really don’t know the God that you are serving?

Where do you start?

Where do you stop?

I’m really good at ministry, but a complete failure at home.

My wife doesn’t want t hear and refuses to accept the truth.

What do you do when your wife catches you in a sin? (The day my hero died)

My wife sees me as a hypocrite.

My wife sees all other leaders through the example of my life.

My wife has absolutely no security in who I am as her husband.

My kids don’t know me.

My kids aren’t interested in whether or not their daddy is famous.

Why can I lead others into the presence of God, yet not get there myself?

It’s like being a great cook and not being able to eat.

How did I get into this desert?

How do I get out?

What to do with temptations and sins?

Caught somewhere between the truth and a lie.

“Here he comes, the great man of God, the winner of souls, the healer of the sick.”

What do you do when you realize that the man everyone is seeing and revering is not the man you see in the mirror?

There is a reality that exists in wanting to be a good example for those following you, even the occasional tendency to be a hero. The temptation to allow yourself to be more than you really are in their eyes is so subtle yet often takes control of us. The complimentary words and constant eulogies are addicting like wine, yet much more deadly. We begin to live and thrive off of their words. We begin to seek them, even act in ways to attract them. And when they begin to be few, we become discouraged and sometimes even angry. Wondering if they do not see all that we are doing for them, if they perhaps do not know of our sacrifices on their behalf?

Yet, on the other hand, we truly want to be all that they say we are and to let them down and tell them that we are not seems senseless and counterproductive. It’s like the way a boy looks to his father, knowing that he couldn’t ever possibly be wrong. His father knows that he has weaknesses, but how does he tell of them to his son. Won’t it somehow destroy what they have? Won’t his son somehow look on him as being weak? How can he truly teach his son if he is seen as being weak? Can he let go of being the hero?

These are the things that a father has to come to terms with. Sooner or later, a son will find out that his father is less than perfect. And this for many men has been a real time of crisis. We want to be a hero to our son. We like the way he sees us as being the biggest, the best, the strongest, the smartest. But this is not always reality. And sooner or later, reality will rear it’s sometimes ugly head and we have to deal with it. In all honesty, will a father lose what he has with his son by the admission of truth? Sometimes temporarily, but it is bound to happen someday. Many men spend their whole lives trying to hide their weaknesses from their sons only to create sons who have low self esteems and huge problems because they see the weaknesses in their own lives yet see their fathers as being without. Only leaving them to think that there is something dreadfully wrong with them. So instead of admitting their weaknesses and dealing with them they hide them as their father’s did and continue the inheritance of lies and deceptions. The question is whether or not what a father and son have in a relationship such is this is real? Do they really have something to lose? If the father could only find someway to tell his son the truth, to show him his weaknesses, it would allow his son to also open up and in turn learn how to deal with and conquer those weaknesses rather than hiding them and living in shame and condemnation.

It is easy for us to see how this works in a father/son relationship, but how does it transfer over to the leader/lead, the shepherd/sheep relationship? Do the same principles apply?