The Book

Preface

It is with great pleasure and expectation that I undertake the writing of this book. As A.W. Tozer once said, “The only book that should ever be written is one that flows up from the heart, forced out by the inward pressure. When such a work has gestated within a man, it is almost certain that it will be written. The man who is thus charged with a message will not be turned back by any blasé considerations. His book will be to him not only an imperative; it will be inevitable.” And it is for this reason that I write this book. It must be written, for me, if for no one else. I only pray that God in His infinite wisdom would be able to find a way to take this offering, weak as it may be, and use it to His glory.

This book is for all of the people who have dared to dream the impossible. Who have dared to believe that God could use them in a way that superseded their own abilities. For everyone who desires to be used of God yet has not quite found the courage to step out. The courage to take that leap of faith and trust God with the landing. And for everyone who is just a normal Joe like me. It is for you that I write this book with the hope that God will use it to help you be all that He would have you to be. May God take your “five loaves and two fish” and feed the multitudes.

5 loaves and 2 fish

The story of the five loaves and the two fish has become one of my favorite stories in the Bible as it is also my story. Jesus took a little boy who did not have much, but was willing to give what he had to the Lord, and fed 5,000 men. (We can easily assume that there were more than 10,000 people present as none of the women or children were counted but most certainly were fed.)

If you remember, Jesus had been teaching the crowd all day long and it was getting to be evening and the people had yet to eat that day. So, the disciples went to Jesus to tell Him to send the people home so that they could eat. But what they got for a response was not what they were expecting. Jesus told them, “That isn’t necessary—You feed them.” Now imagine the look on the disciples’ faces and the thoughts racing in their heads. “But Jesus, we don’t have enough food for all of these people nor enough money to buy food for all of them. What do you want us to do?”

At which point, Andrew spoke up and said, “There’s a young boy here with five barley loaves and two fish. But what good is that with this huge crowd?” I can just imagine the groans of the other disciples when Andrew announced that some little boy had offered to donate his five barley loaves and two fish to help out. “Oh yeah, great! Now that we have all this food, our problems are solved.” Apparently he did not understand the enormity of the problem. Or did he? Perhaps it did not even matter whether he understood or not

I can see Jesus then taking the five loaves and two fish from the little boy as He smiled at him, patted his head and said thank you. He then turned to the disciples and told them to have the men sit down in groups of 150. Talk about panic attack. Do what? What was Jesus doing? Surely He did not think that He was going to feed all of these people with so little. But, yet, the disciples obeyed and Jesus then prayed thanking the Father for what He was about to do and began to break the bread. And continued breaking it and breaking it and breaking it until everyone had eaten to their full. Imagine the looks of amazement on the disciples faces as they continued watching the five loaves and two continually being multiplied. I am sure at one point they must have broken out in laughter thinking of how they had doubted Jesus and were now seeing a miracle done right before their very eyes. How much they still had to learn.

The Bible then records that they picked up all of the leftovers which totaled 12 baskets full of bread. In the end, there were more leftovers than they had originally started with. And that is how our God is. He does everything in abundance.

What is important to remember is that all of this started, not with someone rich, or someone well educated, but with one little boy willing to part with what little he had for Jesus’ sake. And this is where every miracle starts. With someone wiling to give or do his little in order to see God do His great.

God said “Brazil”

As I sat in the airport in Manaus, Brazil, sweating from the unbearable heat and not understanding a word of what was being said around me, I began to wonder if perhaps all of those people were right. Perhaps I had lost my marbles. Perhaps I had made a very foolish decision. What exactly was I doing in the Amazon basin? And did I really think that God really could or would use me here? But, it was to late to turn back. I had a very pregnant wife and a two year old little girl already waiting for me in Santarém, what was to be our new home.

Lisa, my wife, had left six weeks earlier with Taylor, my daughter, for Brazil as a result of her being pregnant. They only allow you to fly up to a certain point in your pregnancy. I guess it has something to do with the airlines not wanting any babies suddenly coming into this world while the “fasten your seatbelts” sign is lit. Me, well I had six weeks left in order to finish my job as a house painter before embarking on my new life as a missionary to Brazil.

“Why Brazil?” you may ask. Well, it’s really quite simple. We, after a three month long visit to Brazil, had decided that God had called us to be missionaries in the Amazon basin. So, not wasting any time. We returned and promptly sold all that we had in order to purchase more airline tickets. Seven months later, my wife was on her way back. Something that I would later look back on and consider one of the most daring acts of courage that I have witnessed in my life. A young woman of 26, very pregnant and a two year old toddler embarking on a two day journey to a country that they did not know and had not yet come to understand. And all because they were sure that God had spoken. I suppose that this might have something to do with the fact that people considered us crazy if not a little irresponsible. But, we believed that God had spoken. And spoken, He had.

What?

It was with great fanfare that we returned to the United States after visiting our missionary friends in Brazil. Everybody was excited and anxious to hear of our adventures in the “wilds” of Brazil. The only thing that they were not prepared to hear was that we were going back. And not to visit this time, but to live.

Those who moments earlier had been singing our praises began to question our sanity. It’s funny how fickle people can be. What one moment can be perceived as one of the most heroic ventures of all time can suddenly become one of the most ludicrous ideas of all time. If visiting Brazil were to be a great thing, one would only come to reason that living there would be even greater. But that was not the case. And thus began the “What?” chorus. Very similar to the Hallelujah chorus found in Handel’s Messiah yet without all of the joy.

It was an assumed fact they we truly had lost touch with reality. After all, who did we think we were? And how did we become so disillusioned to think that we could be foreign missionaries? Perhaps we had drunk one too many times from the Amazon River. Or perhaps it was just a state of delirium that would pass with the malaria. Unfortunately, at the time, we did not have many people encouraging us and telling us that they were sure that we could do it with God’s help. Most were very quick to point out all of the reasons why, in the natural, we could not do it.

Reason #1: We had no college education. This was not entirely true. I had completed two semesters of college before flunking out. And I say that with absolutely no pride in my voice. It was just one of those things that happen to a lot of young and naive kids who discover the not-so-wonderful world of drugs and partying on their first venture away from home. But, that’s an entirely different story. Lisa had managed to complete one full year of college and all without flunking out. She actually quit and decided to go to YWAM Denver. And as God would have it, so did I two years later. Once again, that’s another story.

Reason #2: We had not gone to or completed Bible school. See response to reason #1.

Reason #3: We had no experience in real ministry. That one is hard to argue unless you consider teaching Sunday school, experience. Which in my opinion it is. For all of you who have ever taught second graders, you understand. It is a quite valid and real experience.

Reason #4: It is irresponsible to take your family to some third world country. Perhaps to some it may be, but to others, it is called obedience.

I shall stop with these. The list could go on, but I fear that I would bore you should I continue.

It truly was a difficult time for us as the very people that we had hoped would support us and encourage us had turned on us in the name of love. Love can be a confusing thing. I had been called “nuts” so many times, that I had begun wonder if perhaps the “Planter Peanut Man” was not perhaps a long lost relative. And even the word “squirrel” would cause me to break into a cold sweat.

It seemed as the questions and questioning would never end. I even once considered tape recording a statement explaining our reasons for wanting to go to Brazil so I would not have to continue repeating myself. The questions never changed and neither did the responses. God had called us to Brazil.

The problem was that all of these well meaning people were our friends who genuinely cared about us. They all seemed that they had discovered the one thing that we had forgotten to consider and would thus promptly cancel our trip and be forever grateful to them.

This is when we truly began to learn the concepts of the story of the “five loaves and the two fish.” The same way that the disciples saw the five loaves and two fish as being insufficient, people were seeing us. They were not seeing the God who took the two loaves and five fish and fed the multitudes, but were seeing all of our weaknesses and inabilities. The problem arose when we too began to see ourselves as simply five loaves and two fish and began to question as to whether or not God had truly called us or if this was just strange fantasy playing out in our lives. Did we truly believe that God could take us, inexperience and all, and truly use us?

I remember going to God in a very confused state of mind (one in which I have become accustomed to live) and asking Him if He was sure, if He really wanted us to go or not. I then began with my Moses like dialog, very patiently explaining to God every reason why we should not go and every reason why He could not use us. To which he then asked me what I had to offer Him. And to be honest, it wasn’t much if it was anything. And then I very distinctly remember Him telling me that if I would give to Him what we had and trust Him with it, that He could use it to feed the multitudes, just like that little boy.

I quickly learned one of the most important lessons that I have ever learned in my young life. God is not interested in how much you have, but in how much of what you have that you are willing to give to Him. God is not interested in how much money you have, but in how much of your money you are willing to give to Him. God is not interested in how many talents you have, but in how many of those talents you are willing to use for His glory. God is not interested in the sum of all that you have, but only those parts that are willing to surrender to Him. Some of the simplest and seemingly most unqualified people have done some of the greatest things in the name of God because they were willing to trust God with everything. While some of the most talented and seemingly qualified men have passed on into eternity with scarcely a soul remembering who there were and what is was that they did. It’s not how much you have, but how much of what you have that you are willing to give to God. For if truth be known, God does not need a lot to accomplish a lot.

Three Things

Although we did not have much to offer to God, we did have three things. And that it is where I believe the secret lie in being used of God. The first thing that we had was a desire. A passionate desire to be used of God. The second thing we had was courage. The courage to risk everything if that’s what it meant to follow God. Thirdly, and most importantly, we have a big God. A God who is not only able, but takes five loaves and two fish and feeds the multitudes.

Desire

Desire is a funny thing and something that is very often misunderstood. If I were to ask a group of 100 Christians if they were willing to be used of God, more likely than not, all 100 would raise their hands affirming their willingness to allow God to use their lives. The honest truth is that most Christians want God to use their lives, but with self imposed stipulations and questions. “I’m willing, but……..is it going to hurt?” or “How much is it going to cost?” That’s not desire! Simple willingness is not desire. It is entirely possible to have willingness without desire as well as desire without willingness. The two are not the same. Although willingness has often been mistaken for desire and desire for willingness. Willingness is a consent to do something and can be done entirely without the emotions. Desire is a passion, a fire burning down to the depths of a man that drive him to do that given thing. Like Paul said, “Woe to me if I do not preach the gospel.” It was more than a willingness, it was a passionate desire; something that he had to do, something that he was driven to do.

I once heard a story of a man who was involved in a ship wreck and then, only after hours of swimming, found himself, the sole survivor, stranded on a deserted island. In the beginning he was glad to be alive. But, as time passed and he managed to eat all of the food to be found on the small island, he began to worry. And then as a little more time passed, his worry began to turn to reality as had truly eaten all of the food on the island and began to feel the affects of not eating. He realized that he was starving to death. And that if someone did not find him soon, that his fate would be nothing more than starving to death on a deserted island. And the fact that he had managed to make it to the island would be of no consequence. His thoughts began to be obsessed with the thought of dying. And with each passing day, and each hunger pang, he felt himself slipping closer to death. He knew that it would not long and death would have him. He began to think of all the things that he had done with his life, all the things that he wished he hadn’t done and all of the things he wished he had done. He realized that his life had been a fairly goods one even though he had regrets. He had all but given up on life when all of the sudden, in the distance, he began to hear what he thought was the sound of an airplane engine. He quickly dismissed it as he was sure that it was only his imagination in a state of delirium as prepared himself to die. But that sound wouldn’t go away. As a matter of fact, it seemed to be getting louder. Could it be? Could it possibly be an airplane? Was it possible that he would be saved? So, with his heart racing and his adrenaline flowing, he mustered all of the strength that he could and dragged himself down to the beach. At which he looked up and saw the plane coming. It was true, he was going to be saved. But, only if the pilot saw him. So with all of the etiquette that he had been taught at prep school, he stood at attention and cleared his throat and began to speak, “Excuse me, pilot of the oncoming aircraft, if it would not be of too much an inconvenience for you, could you please land your plane here and rescue me? I don’t mean to be a bother. But, you see, I am starving to death and I am surely to die if you do not rescue me. So, I would be very much obliged if you could be of help.”

Now, does that sound like a person really on the verge of dying would act? Is that how you would act? Of course not! The strongest desire that man has is the desire to live. The only thing that he could think of was dying. Why? Because he didn’t want to die. He wanted to live. If you were that man you would somehow find the strength to go running down that beach while tearing off your shirt and waving it and jumping in the air like a lunatic, while shouting at the top of your lungs, “Help! Help me! Save me! I’m dying! Don’t leave me here! If you leave me here, I’ll die!” You would do whatever was necessary to be rescued.

That is desire. That is the difference between willingness and desire. The first man was willing to be rescued. He wanted to be rescued, but he didn’t want to impose on the pilot. The second person had desire. Something that took over, something that possessed him, something that became the only thing that he could see. And it didn’t matter who was imposed upon. The only thing that mattered was living and being rescued.

Probably the best real life example of desire is that of a sterile woman and her desire to have children. Today, we have endless procedures in which to try and help sterile woman have the opportunity to also experience the joy of having children. These women spend countless hours, spend countless dollars and try countless procedures in hopes that perhaps one will actually give them the miracle that that they desperately want. Why? Because they want to have children. They need to have children. Stronger than any desire for anything in this life is the desire to have their own children. No matter what the price, they want children, they must have them. It becomes something that controls them, something that possesses their thoughts.

Rachel, the wife of Jacob, was like that. She was sterile, yet she possessed an unquenchable desire to have children. She was so desperate that one day she grabbed her husband, and as she fell to her knees, still clinging to his robe, she screamed at him, “Give me children, or I’ll die.” Now, that is desire. “Give me children or I’ll die!” “I would rather die than live without this one thing that I desire!”

That is the kind of desire that we need for God. The kind of desire that we need to be used of God. The kind of desire that rises up within us and as our body begins to shake we begin to cry out to God, “God. Use my life or I’ll die!” When is the last time you gave God a death ultimatum? “God, I want to be used! I need to be used! God, if you are not going to use me, take me! I don’t want to spend 70 years here on earth and in the end, have nothing to show you, nothing to offer up to you. God, give me a ministry, give me someone to pray for, someone to witness to. Anything God, but please use my life. Use me or take me home now!” This is the type of desire that concerns itself with the fact that we were put here on earth to serve the Lord and to proclaim His name. And the realization that one day, all of us will have to give an account of our lives before our Creator. The kind of desire that puts a fear in us that when we actually stand before Him, that we will have nothing to offer to Him, except for some worthless items that will not pass through the fire. Imagine someone, perhaps an average Christian who has bought into the lies of the devil and the traps of materialism in this world, standing before trying to make his case. “Yes God, I did love you. Oh, you couldn’t tell it be my life? But, what about my house, God? Didn’t you like how I put your picture over the fireplace? You know, the one with you smiling. Oh, that wasn’t you? Or, what about my car, God? Didn’t you like the color? That was no accident that I bought the red one. I was thinking of your blood. And what about my ‘Honk if you love Jesus!” bumper sticker. I’m sure that lots of people saw that. Oh, that’s not what you meant by ‘preach the gospel to every living creature.’”

Sounds silly, huh? But the reality of it is that many of us do, think and buy what we want, all the while trying to find some godly reason to justify it. Jesus is more than a picture over a fireplace and more than a name on a bumper sticker. And He wants more than superficial worship and cheap lip service from us. He wants it all. He wants all of you. And that is exactly what He desires. To have all of you and to use your life for His glory.

We need to come before God, in all due respect, and give Him our death ultimatums. We need to throw ourselves and His feet and implore Him to use us. This is what He wants. Children who passionately want to be used. Children who are completely absorbed, possessed with the need, the desire to be used. The kingdom of God is not for the polite, it “suffers violence and the violent take it by force.” We need to violent for God. We need to make our requests known. I will not take a number and stand politely in any line in order to make my requests known. What I want is a matter of life and death. And I will treat it as such.

The truth is that God will use anyone who is willing. But imagine someone desperately, passionately wanting to be used. Imagine for a moment, if you will, that you are God. I realize that this is a bigger stretch for some than others. But, imagine that you are God and you are looking down our earth trying to find someone to accomplish your purposes. Suddenly, you find a city in which there are a few people willing to be used if you should so choose to use them. As you are considering which one would best serve your purposes, you are interrupted by some apparently half gone crazy Christian crying out to be used. He is yelling something like “God, I need you! I want nothing more than to serve you! Please God, take my life and use it! Anything, anything God! Please, just use me!” Now, remember that for the moment, you are God. Which one are you more likely to use. The polite and very together Christian who is “willing” if you should happen to incline your heart to him and ask him to do something or the “nut” who is one his face before you weeping and begging of you to use his life? I think that the decision is very easy. Surely you use the “nut.” Why? Because he has no thought for himself or how he may appear to others. He is desperate to be used, thus he will do anything without question. That is what God is seeking. People who are willing to follow Him with reckless abandon. Once again, God will use anyone who is willing. But, He just may use all of those who are desperately seeking to be used before He gets to those who are just “willing.”

Courage

I remember that it was about two and a half years ago when I gave God my “death ultimatum.” My wife and I were already serving in the Amazon basin of Brazil as missionaries, but something seemed to be missing. God was already using us, but I wanted more. I knew that there was more to had and I wanted it. I wanted to be used, to be really used. I remember crying out to God, begging Him to do something with my life. And literally telling Him that if He could not see fit to really use me, the I would rather depart from this world and just go home a little early. That was probably one of the most intense moments of my life as I truly meant what I said. It was probably one of the biggest life changing moments too. Since that day, my life has not been the same and probably never will.

When you desire to be used, God will use you! But, be careful, things could get a little wild if not outright dangerous. With a simple little prayer, your life could go upside down and cease to exist as you know it. God is looking for those who desperately want to be used. And when He finds them, he does not delay in putting them to work.

The Church

God certainly did not delay in responding to my prayer. Less than three months after imploring of God to use my life, a door opened. A new church plant was being planned in a small river community of 2,000 inhabitants located about 40 km from where we live. Only God knows why, but I was asked if I would like to be a part of it. I couldn’t believe it. The emotions that I felt cannot be put into words, they can only be experienced. I guess the closest that I can come to explaining it was the way that I felt when watching the births of my children; the excitement of seeing God bring a new life into the world. That moment when all of your emotions are all twisted up. You want to shout, laugh and cry all at the same time. It is an awesome feeling. Well, that is almost how I felt. I had dreamed of planting a church on the mission field for eight years. And here it was right in front of me, staring me in the face, daring me to go for it. And go for it I did.

The only problem was that after only a month, the pastor heading up the work had to leave as a result of his secular job. So, “Who is going to be the pastor?” “Me?!?” What?!?” “You’ve got to be joking!” How could I be the pastor? I had signed up for this as the helper. I had no intention of becoming the pastor. So, I went to God to try and explain things to Him as I was sure He had missed something in the equation.

“God? It’s me, Jeff. Yes, your son in Brazil. God, I would never criticize or question you, but it seems as though you have missed something here. Although I am sure that it was not your oversight, probably just one of your angels. We all know how hard it is to find good help these days. Oh yes, the reason that I am here is to speak to you about the turn of events in our church. God, I am sure that you already know that Eduardo has to stop working there, thus leaving only me. And now they want to make me the pastor. Oh, that was your decision? Well God, it seems like a great idea except for a few minor details. Like the fact that I cannot speak Portuguese yet, which seems kind of like a pre-requisite for being a pastor here. Yes, I know the story of Moses. OK, Ok then, what about the fact that I have never been a pastor. This was supposed to be my training ground; my learning experience. Oh, you are going to teach me. But, what about the culture? I don’t know what is right or wrong. It all seems so different. I haven’t even begun to understand them. Yes, I know that you understand them. I knew that you were going to say that. God, have you ever considered being their pastor? You would be a perfect candidate. Just kidding God. Yes, I can trust you. And yes, I really want to be used of you. I just had to get this off of my chest and make sure that you were really in this. Thanks, God, for your time. I love you too.”

So, thus began my life as a pastor lacking all of the obviously necessary tools. But even without the tools, I still had a desire to be used, the courage to just step out and trust God and a God who is more than faithful.

It was not always easy in the beginning. I really learned how to depend on God. After all, how do you get a church to grow through charades, my only method of communicating at the time. Well, as the church began to grow and as I began to learn how to say more than “hi,” “goodbye” and “thanks,” it became obvious to me that our church was lacking something. Actually it was my wife who noticed it and brought it to my attention. We needed to have something for the women. Something like a breakfast and Bible study every month for them. It was a great idea, although I am sure that it was something that she may have come to regret as she became the obvious person to do it. Once again, just one problem, she didn’t speak Portuguese either. So, what started out as a great idea became an area of stress and fear.

This also became one of the moments that I was most impressed with my wife and the courage that she has. You see, my wife is a thinker. She thinks everything out and then rethinks it before doing it (except for the idea of the breakfast.) Me, I’m the type of guy who jumps out of the plane and then about halfway down, wonders if he has on a parachute. If God says “jump,” I jump and then only later think about the possible implications of what I have already done. Some people call this faith. Others call it simple and pure stupidity. I prefer to believe that it is faith.

My wife however, is not in the slightest way like that. But, she does have courage. And I have yet to see her shrink from a challenge. I watched as she spent countless hours creating the study and the even more hours with her Portuguese teacher practicing the study in order to be prepared to give it. I saw courage at work. I also saw the battle between courage and fear that took place in her. In the midst of telling me that she couldn’t do it, she did.

I have heard it said that “Courage is not the absence of fear, but the overcoming of it.” And that is what I saw in my wife. I saw the fear, the nervousness. But I also saw the courage overcoming it. Many times we mistake the presence of fear as being a lack of courage, which could be the farthest thing from the truth. Many times we will be asked of God to do things that scare us. I was afraid to be the pastor, my wife was afraid to do a Bible study and breakfast. That is normal. We generally are afraid of anything that seems to surpass what we feel are our limitations. Courage is trusting God, who knows really where our limitations are, and doing what He asks of us despite our feelings and fears. That is where the victory comes. That is when we are most greatly used. The interesting thing about the women’s Bible study and breakfast is that it quickly became the most popular activity in our church. The women loved it as well as they loved my wife. But then, who wouldn’t?

The little church in the village that had a pastor and pastor’s wife who didn’t even speak the language is no longer little. It has grown considerably to the glory of God. We now have a new and very beautiful building, one school room and bathrooms. It is literally the nicest in the village. What started two and a half years ago with three men and a prayer meeting has grown to be around 100 people; half of which we have the privilege of leading to the Lord and then baptizing. I was once asked “How do you plant a church in a third world country?” I responded that I felt better qualified to tell you how not to plant a church as it has been a trial and error process, with the emphasis on the error side. Basically it is just God in the midst of our feeble attempts and great ideas that don’t always turn out to be so great. Taking us back to the five loaves and two fish. Who am I?

Case in point, two years ago, I decided to make a new years resolution in regards to how many people I wanted to win to the Lord for that year. In my prayer time, I felt as though God said 50. Which was just fine with me. That next Sunday, I decided to challenge my congregation by making my new year’s resolution public. Yes, I declared publicly that I was determined to win 50 people to the Lord within the year. Great desire, little thought as to the math. Thus, enters my ever so wise wife. When I told her of my resolution and declaration, she was quick to pint out to me that that was an awful lot of people in one year. Especially for someone who up to that point had probably never won more than four people in any given year. She then did the math for me, which ended up being almost one person a week. Oops! Yet, undaunted, I went forward with my plan. After all, I felt that God had given me that number, not to mention that I had already declared it publicly.

Well, January passed, and February, and then in March, someone in the church asked me how my new year’s resolution was going. After much thought and counting and then recounting I declared “four,” four people I had already won to the Lord that year. To which he replied, “Oh. You still have a long way to go.” He couldn’t read, but apparently he could count. I then entered a bit of a personal crisis. Not for me, but for the fact that I had felt as though God had given me that number. I realized just how much I needed God. Without His help, it would be impossible for me to win 50 people. Basically, I just cried out to Him and asked forgiveness for having had tried to do it without Him. I asked Him to please bring the people to me. And he did exactly that. People began to come to the church “looking for the pastor.”

I remember one young man in particular who came by the church one afternoon. I remember him because he passed in front of the church, then turned around and passed in front of the church again and then finally came up on the church steps and just stood there looking quite lost. I went out to se if I could help him. “He said, “I need to talk to the pastor.” I responded with, “OK, I’m him.” At which he looked at me with a little bit of suspicion and doubt in his eyes. I didn’t miss a beat as I then asked him, “Can I help you?” To which he responded, “Yes, I’d like to talk to the pastor.” Again? I may not be the most fluent person in Portuguese, but I know how to say that. But, rather than having to repeat myself he continued, “I need to talk to the pastor. I need to get my life right with God.” At this point, I’m beginning to think that maybe this is some type of cruel joke being played on a pastor desperate to win souls. But, I could see in his eyes that he was serious. We then went in to sit down and talk a little. About 45 minutes later, I was kneeling with him as he wept and gave his life to Jesus. I, to that day had never experienced something like that. Someone looking for me in order to get saved. Something like that exceeds all reason. Suffice it to say that God was not about to share His glory on that one. It was all about Him. I just had the privilege to be a part of what He was doing. And that was only the beginning. Five times that year, people came to the church “looking for the pastor.” And five times I got to see God working in an absolutely incredible way.

So, how did my new year’s resolution end up? That year I, God if truth be known, led 63 people to the Lord. I had the courage to ask and God responded above and beyond what I had hoped for. He even went so far as to bring them to me. God truly is, “able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us.” (Eph 3:20)

Shoot the ball!

We all have a deep desire to be used of God, most Christians will admit to this fact, yet there seems to be something lacking in the actual day to day action. And although many are being used of God, it is generally far less than what we hope for. Far less than a life filled with the miraculous moves of God that we dream of. We all want to win people for the Lord. We all want to see the sick healed. So, why do we not see the very thing that we desire to see happening in our lives? Why? What is the problem?

We all want to see people get saved, yet we do not witness. We all want to see the sick get healed, yet we do not pray. Why? The #1 reason people do not witness or pray for the sick is fear. Fear of rejection or failure.

“What if I witness to someone and they tell me off? What if they don’t want to be saved and reject me? It would be devastating for me. I could develop a complex. I might need counseling.”

Although I am certain that few would be so honest as to actually speak out these words, I am sure that many think them. Nobody likes to be rejected. We all like to feel loved and accepted. And seemingly one of the easiest ways to learn about rejection and failure is through witnessing. What we forget is that witnessing or speaking of Jesus is not about us. It is about Him. And the rejection that we feel is not at all projected towards us. It is not us that they are rejecting, but Him. We are such self absorbed people that we think that everything is about us. Thus, when we think of witnessing, we think of, and how we will feel if they do not give their lives to Jesus. We already imagine feeling like a failure. And the devil is right there encouraging to accept that lie and just give up. “Maybe I should leave the witnessing to those that are ‘called’ to do it. What a lie! We are all called to be witnesses. We just need to crucify that selfish little nature that we all have and consider the future of that person to whom we are considering witnessing. What is their future without Jesus? Nothing short of eternity in hell! So what if I get rejected in the process of trying to win the to the Lord. Who cares about my feelings? They are going to hell and that is a whole lot more important than a bruised ego. Besides, how does Jesus fell? After all, it was His life and His blood.

We also have this fear of looking stupid or being embarrassed. How many times have we felt as though God wanted us to go pray for someone yet we don’t for fear that it won’t “work?” I know that there have been many times that I have felt as though God wanted me to pray for someone who was sick, yet I didn’t. Why? Pure and simply, fear. I didn’t wan to look stupid. “What if I went up to them and asked to pray for them? What if they thought that I was strange? And what if God didn’t heal them? Man, I don’t know if I could deal with that. It would be rather embarrassing.” So, instead of praying and allowing God to work a miracle, we do nothing just because we are afraid of being embarrassed. And exactly what we do happens. Nothing!

Basketball

Christianity is like the game of basketball. If you want to score, you have to shoot the ball. If you never shoot the ball, you will never score.

Imagine that you are a professional basketball player and that your team is in the NBA finals. It is the seventh game and time is running out. Only one point separates your team from theirs and you team gas the ball. There are 10 seconds on the clock when your teammate throws the ball into you. As you bring it up the clock, you know that there is only time for one shot. And then the crowd begins to yell 10…9…8…7…6…5…4 and you pull up for the shot. It’s now or never. 3…2…1…and you don’t shoot the ball. “AAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!!!” Screams the crowd. “You idiot! Why didn’t you shoot the ball?” Imagine your teammates and their faces. The looks of disbelief. After all it took just to get to this point and you didn’t shoot the ball. Imagine your coach grabbing you and screaming in your face “What were you thinking? Why didn’t you shoot the ball?” Then through your tears you try to explain to him and all of the reporters that have now gathered around you that you wanted to shoot the ball, but then you started to think about what if you missed. How embarrassing. You weren’t sure if you could deal with missing the last shot and as a result costing your team the game. At which point you are reminded by some of those around you that you lost anyway. At least if you would have shot the ball, you would have had a chance.

This is how it is for many of us in life. If we don’t witness, we won’t get rejected. If we don’t pray for the sick, we won’t fail. But that is not how God intended it. He put the ball in our hands for a reason. He wants us to shoot it. He wants us to win. Time is running out in this life and the clock is ticking down. And our coach, God, is up there looking down on us and screaming “Shoot the Ball! Shoot the ball!” “Don’t worry about whether it goes in or not, that is up to me. Just do your job and shoot the ball. Then let me do my work and put it in.” Ultimately whether someone gets saved or healed has nothing to do with us. We are just a tool that God uses to do His work. God is the Savior. God is the healer. But if we want to be used, we have to do our part. We have to think of the end result, the possibilities, and shoot the ball.